TV Pick of the Week: My Dad is a Woman

This Thursday, the new documentary My Dad is a Woman explores the emotional affects that can occur when the 'man of the house' transitions to a woman. Following two families, the documentary reveals the challenges faced by two transsexual women as they take life-changing steps that will not only affect their own lives but could impact greatly on their loved ones.

The two women featured in My Dad is a Woman Michelle and Jane, have both been diagnosed with gender dysphoria. Gender dysphoria medical condition where men or women feel their true gender is at odds with their physical body. Michelle had wanted to be a girl since she was six years old, but feared being bullied if she told anyone. So she tried to bury her feelings and get on with living her life as a boy. Michelle met her partner Julie when they were both teenagers and Michelle was known Michael. They have since been married for 26 years and have two sons.

Michelle tried to suppress her feelings for wanting to be a woman but they never went away. Three years ago, once her sons had grown up, she made the ultimate decision that she could finally leave her life as Michael behind and become Michelle.

Although Michelle's parents and her partner have provided brilliant support for her, transition is a huge undertaking and involves various stages which differ for individual transsexuals; whilst some people may just change their appearance and name, others embark on a lengthy process of taking hormones to encourage breast growth, speech therapy to feminise the voice and electrolysis to remove unwanted hair. Then there is the option of gender reassignment surgery to reconstruct areas of the body to become physically more female or male.

My Dad is a Woman also follows 53 year old Jane, who used to be known as John, She began living as a woman more than two years ago. Jane lives in Lincolnshire with her partner Andrea, Jane’s 17 year old daughter Tash, and Jane and Andrea’s six year old son Rafe.

Having a parent who is transitioning brings practical as well emotional challenges.

Jane’s daughter Tash explains the dilemmas she’s faced since her dad broke the news that he wanted to be a woman:

“It’s the last thing you’d think about your parent. For my dad to do it, who I’ve known as a man my whole life, who’s been wearing jeans and jumpers and not really ever showing to me any feminine habits, it was just really strange.

“I’d never suspected it, ever. I was just crying and all shocked. I didn’t tell anyone for about

four weeks. I didn’t realise but people ended up being quite worried about me."

17 year old Tash continues to explain how, despite the initial shock that her dad wanted to be a woman, she has come to realise that Jane is the same person:

I still call him a him, it’s not that can’t bring myself to say Jane, but…it’s Jane and my dad. Being a dad is a role not a gender. If I keep saying dad, it’s like yes, remember me, I’m here, this is your daughter.”

“I’ve always loved my dad, always have and always will. He’s still the person that looked after me when I was little and poorly. It is weird because dad is my dad, and mostly been a man until quite recently. Now he is Jane. It’s just I’ve got a dad that is a woman and there is a woman that is my dad.”

It is hugely encouraging to see documentaries such as this and My Transsexual Summer on TV. Documentaries like these not only raise awareness of the challenges faced by transsexuals, but they help reduce prejudice by showing viewers that the people featured in the programmes are not alien to the rest of us; they are just people like you and I and they just want to be happy like we do.

My Dad is a Woman airs on Thursday 1st March on ITV1 at 10:35pm.

The Vagina Monologues 2012

Last night I saw The Vagina Monologues at The Nuffield Theatre at Lancaster University. I had heard reviews of the production being 'funny', 'sad' and 'shocking', but I never imagined the monologues would have affected me so much emotionally and stuck with me.

The Vagina Monologues was written in 1996 after Eve Ensler conducted a series of interviews with women from all around the world about their thoughts and feelings of 'down there'. The results were staggering with Eve collecting a moving collection of honest stories, from comical encounters to truly harrowing experiences.

The Vagina Monologues have now been translated into 48 languages and performed in over 140 countries. Previous women to have been involved with re-creating The Vagina Monologues include Kate Winslet, Whoopi Goldberg and Sophie Daul. The cast last night at Lancaster University put their hearts and souls into the production. The women's stories were told through a thoughtful mix between the comical tales, from a list of sexual 'moanings' to vagina classes, and the truly awful accounts of abuse that some of the women interviewed had encountered, including stories from the Comfort Women of World War II and women who had experienced sexual abuse as a child.

At the end of the monologues a woman stood centre stage with her guitar and sang an extremely moving about a woman who was the victim of abuse as a child. At the end of the first chorus, the cast and audience members stood in solidity for the stories they had just heard and for all the women who continue to be treated badly around the world. As I stood there holding back my tears, I thought about how much so many of us take our privileged lives for granted. Why are so many women around the world still treated like objects and pieces of meat to be passed around and 'sampled' by men? Why do so many women live in fear for their lives? This should not be happening. It really should not be happening.

Out of The Vagina Monologues came V-Day. V-day is a global activist movement to end violence against women and girls. V-day campaigns aim to raise awareness and funds for anti-violence groups across the world; last night's Vagina Monologues production that I saw was raising money for the Preston Safe Centre. V-Day also works to educate others and change social attitudes towards violence against women and girls.

The V-Day movement is growing at a rapid pace thanks to its thousands and thousands of supporters and people like you reading this blog to gain a better understanding of the experiences of others less fortunate than ourselves. This should not be happening. It really should not be happening

14th February 2013 will mark V-day's 15th anniversary. To find out more about V-Day, visit the V-Day website or their Facebook page. You can also find details of tour days of The Vagina Monologues here.

'It Does Get Better' Charity Single Available Now

On February 11th 2012 The L Project released their charity single "It Does Get Better" to raise awareness of LGBT bullying.

The single is performed by some of the UK's most talented lesbian musicians and ALL proceeds go to the charities Diversity Role Models and Stonewall to help combat LGBT bullying in schools.

You can buy the single now from iTunes, Amazon or any other good download sites. Don't forget to share the video with as many people as you can and together we can spread the message that it really does get better.

TV Pick for Tonight: San Francisco's Year Zero: We Were Here

2011 marked 30 years since the beginning of the AIDS crisis. In 1981, the flourishing gay community in San Franscisco was hit with an unimaginable disaster which led to not only increased homophobia and prejudice, but the death of loved ones at a terrifying rate.

Through the eyes of those whose lives changed in unimaginable ways, tonight's documentary San Francisco's Year Zero: We Were Here tells how the beloved city of San Francisco was transformed from a hotbed of sexual freedom and social experimentation into the epicentre of a terrible sexually transmitted disease which became known as the 'gay plague'.

Caregivers, activists, researchers, friends and lovers of suffers, as well as people who are currently living with AIDS themselves, share their intensely personal stories in a documentary which shows the incredible power of a community coming together with love, compassion and determination.

San Francisco's Year Zero: We Were Here airs tonight on BBC4 at 10pm.

#ITVChat: 'LGB in TV: Pride or Prejudice?' Part 2

Summary of #ITVChat: 'LGB in TV: Pride or Prejudice?' continued...

'Question 4: As an all-encompassing media, how can TV be more representative of your sexual orientation?'

@cardboardcakes 'instead of just representing, would be good to see fictional characters dealing real issues such as gay marriage'

This relates to my point that life experiences should be the priority rather than making a big deal about someone's sexual orientation.

@StonewallUK 'Surely one of the key issues with bi visibility is not representing it as a 'phase' in programming.'

@Andrew_Ellery 'ITV got it right in Emmerdale with 'Aaron' q'ing sexuality. Challenged all stereotypes and commitment in relationship'

@StonewallUK 'Really need to see more positive lesbian and bi representation.'

Definitely!

@tvnewswales replied to the above: 'Agreed. But in a rounded drama we also need to hear such issues raised -- and dealt with properly'

This is a fair point but there needs to be a balances between the 'issues raised' and ordinary life for LGB characters.

@StonewallUK 'And it's also important for gay people to not be seen simply in terms of 'issues' or as victims.'

@SaraHansonITV 'Its a debate that constantly goes on in drama -authenticity v's sensationalisation. Understanding the impact is key.'

Yes but the impact is different for heterosexual, homosexual and bisexual viewers - there is not one impact from a storyline.

@StonewallUK 'Again, we can point to Corrie, which showed Sean and Marcus simply as dads, not primarily gay men.'

@RainbowTweeters 'A greater emphasis on life experiences of LGBT characters is what we need.'

@Natalieread309 'tv should portray LGB to all viewers, not just special programs for LGB viewers. Sophie/Sian was a good example in corrie'

@AndyWasley (Stonewall Employee) gives the best quote ever! 'I recall Lear: The purpose of playing ... is to hold a mirror to life... '

'@tvnewswales 'Politics of presence' vital - the LGB community on screen whether sexuality relevant or not'

Exactly!

@Andrew_Ellery 'corrie is definitely ahead of the game'

@Andrew_Ellery 'lesbian couple in corrie was gd story. Such loving r/ship. Would b nice to of seen acceptance from family str8 away

The writers of Coronation Street are prime examples of being more representative of sexual orientation in an ordinary way rather than stereotyping or over-dramatising.

@teachingofsci 'perhaps try portraying bisexuals as ppl first, rather than greedy/indecisive/unfaithful/predatory?'

@tvnewswales replied: 'Couldn't agree more with the 'people not problems' approach'

@PatriciaRose: 'Really need to see more positive lesbian and bi representation.'

@RainbowTweeters 'A person's sexual orientation should not define them. It doesn't define heterosexuals so why us?'

@natatlieread309 'tv should have more LGB characters that have normal life's & not purely concentrate on the coming out and negative aspect!'

@SaraHansonITV replied: 'That's when soaps can play an important role. Not one-off stories but part of a long running character's identity'

@Andrew_Ellery 'we are all born with a 'sexuality'. Difference is we are all assumed straight. B gd to change that'

Totally agree! I would love to see this change happen!!

@AndrewBogg 'I can see why soaps have the drama but to represent true life there are many happy LGBT couples of all ages getting on with life'

Very good point! Drama should represent what they do to get on with life to show that LGBT couples aren't alien to heterosexual couples.

@RainbowTweeters 'Just seeing same-sex couples walk down the street holding hands will make a difference'

@southofkinross 'How about programmes showing lgb folk doing normal boring things (that arent stereotypically attached to sexuality'

@southofkinross also asked: 'should kids television have "lgb" people in it? Under 16 I mean !?'

@StonewallUK 'We believe age-appropriate portrayals of different families are important, given how many kids have gay parents. '

@Martin1Craig 'Under 16s are exactly the demographic that need gay people in their programming. That's when opinions are formed.'

@RainbowTweeters 'Yes kids television should show 'LGB people'. All under 16s need to see people they can relate to.'

'Q5 from @HuisVanDeSteak: Sexual orientation should only be a concern when sex is on the agenda, why should it have a bearing on my employability?'

@AndyWasley 'I wrote about this, sort of, in my @HuffPostUK article about football; open sportspeople perform better. http://t.co/dypocoPB..Same applies to other employees. Horrible to think that some people still feel pressured to stay in the closet.'

@SaraHansonITV 'Should definitely be about talent. But by knowing the workforce profile - progression, levels etc helps identify discrimination. '

@sharprc 'Since coming out in my place of work, I've felt more accepted and more amiable.'

@StonewallUK 'Sexuality shouldn't affect employability in a negative way. But more diversity helps orgs'

@lizzietammyking 'it shudn't have any bearing on work, although im quite open at work it didn't once cum up untill id been here a bit'

@Martin1CraigTotally agree with 'normalising' the gay thing in TV rather than all of this drama & intrigue. If only real life were so exciting.'

@OintonJohnp'I'm not camp/butch somewhere in between. I don't resent those who are at either end of that spectrum though it's called DIVERSITY'

@BisexualFTW 'I think butch women get under-represented in TV drama. I see way more femme characters.'

@jasonpbell 'sexuality should not define a person, it is the way that characters react, you can have a gay hero, but not because they're gay'

An extremely valuable point that should be noted from this discussion.

Q6. Does discrimination in entry level jobs make LGB people feel even more insecure jobwise? (from @eddydurnan)

@cardboardcakes 'The don't as part of the application. But it's often supplimentary to show they are equal opportunity employers'

@StonewallUK 'Yes, it can; it's important for new entrants to the job market to feel secure and valued from day one.'

@natalieread309 ' I think it more to do with the sector or perceived environment in general oppose to the level of the job.'

@tvnewswales 'I'd be astounded to hear of discrimination at entry level.ITV's big on increasing diversity'

@southofkinross ''How many lgb staff get "sly comments" when no-one else around. Very common in my opinion. Very much underreported'

Q7 Does the TV industry need to do more for anyone LGB to develop their careers?

@StonewallUK 'Important for LGB people to know they can aspire to every level of management within any organisation.'

@tvnewswales 't's vital to have diversity at all levels to improve the decision making of a co in a diverse world '

You can view the complete #ITVchat conversation from yesterday's discussion here.

#ITVChat: 'LGB in TV: Pride or Prejudice?' Part 1

There was a great discussion yesterday on Twitter initiated by ITV Studios (@moveonup2ITV)
about LGB equality in the TV industry. This is an area which I am passionate about and it was a fantastic opportunity for me to get my points across and to find out what others thought about the subject.

If you missed the #ITVchat discussing 'LGB in TV: Pride or Prejudice?', here's a summary of the main points I picked up, the comments in italics are my own thoughts:

Q1. The media industry is considered 'gay friendly' – should companies do more to test this theory?

Head of Corporate Responsibility for ITV, Sara Henson (@SaraHansonITV), agreed, stating that 'without basic information and a workforce profile how do you know how representative you are?'

The LGB Charity Stonwall (@stonewallUK) pointed out that ITV are in fact the only broadcaster to make it through into their Workplace Equality Index

This is surprising given that Channel 4 has produced a range of programmes in relation to LGB issues and has incorporated more LGB characters than ITV.

Comms Manager at ITV, Stephen Barber (@DameStephen) noted that 'A ‘perception’ of a gay friendly industry is just that – a perception, it may not be the reality.

Andy Collinson, Editor, Multimedia news team (@tvnewswales) replied 'Big learning curve for us when we realised we didn't have a lot of objective info about ITV's LGB community'

Stonewall then referred to their excellent report entitled 'Unseen on Screen' (2010) which shows just how under-represented LGB people are on TV. If you've not seen this report, you really should check it out.

@cardboardcakes made a good point here that 'It's not just about representation but looking at having lessnegaitvie conotations used in tv too like'thats so gay'

As harmless as 'that's so gay' may sound, we all know how quickly that phrase is transferred onto the playground and negatively impacts on children. It's pointless terminology and needs to be eradicated.

Q2. Should being overtly proud of being LGB make any difference to how people react to you?

@cardboardcakes makes another very good point here: 'Completely agree. It's really important for young people in particular to see positive role models on TV.'

This is an area which I am particularly dedicated to. Growing up without seeing people you can relate to on TV should not be an option today; it's important for self-esteem and will help us move towards equality in society.

@James_Findlay replies in answer to question two 'no it shouldnt but I think it does. If someone is quiet about being LGB, then there's no chance of "offending people"'

This is a very good point. I think a lot of people, myself included, are afraid of coming out because of just that, 'offending people'. It is the reasons why LGB is seen as 'offensive' that urgently need to be addressed. The work that various charities are carrying out in school is a good example of this.

@StonewallUK: 'Everyone should be afforded equal respect, whatever their sexual orientation. This makes it all the more important that ... there are positive LGB role models on TV who are unashamed of who they are.'

@perimint69 you also need to get rid of the image of 'gay' as being effeminate not all gay blokes are like that

@SaraHansonITV 'Amazing the impact positive role models can have on TV. I see the duty logs and the awareness and debate story lines generate.'

The Sean and Marcus and Sophie and Sian Coronation Street storylines are a perfect example of the above.

Q3. Does onscreen perception around LGB impact behind the cameras

Hmmm did this question really need to be asked??? Of course it does!

@tvnewswales: 'as a broadcaster, we have to get it right -- or risk losing our audiences and that's how we pay the bills'

I'm not sure if the above is aimed at all viewers or heterosexual viewers...Remember that disgusting Brian Sewell article in the Daily Mail about Corrie's gay characters 'flooding' the street?

@Andrew_Ellery 'should our ever sexuality form the basis of whether people react positively or not. Sadly ignorance exists'

A very good point which shows why the TV industry needs to contribute to breaking down ignorance.

@rlxb123 'tv programmes make being #lgb an issue. When surely it should be dealt with like any other relationship story line!'

I can't stress the above enough!

@DameStephen Our perceptions are shaped by the society we live in. Everyone's influenced by what they read, hear, and watch...so it's inevitable that those behind the cameras will be affected by what they watch on screen.'

Well said!

@StonewallUK: 'All media have an influence on people's points of view, so it's really important for LGB issues to be covered accurately.'

@RainbowTweeters: 'The Corrie Sophie/Sian storyline was a great exception & dealt more with their love than coming out.'

@SaraHansonITV replied to this: 'This is the approach we are trying to take with all areas of equality in drama. Authentic character interaction.'

More questions to follow...